“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
James 5:16 NKJV
“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:11 NKJV
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 NKJV
I have been in a lot of pain lately, due to a back/sciatica issue. I spent a few days last week unable to move and homeschooled my children while lying on my back, one of those days. It was really hard and I cried a lot. More from the fact that I felt totally useless and guilty for not being able to contribute to my family, than from the pain. I ended up finally giving in last Sunday and going to the ER, because I couldn’t take living life from the ground and needed relief from my pain. Those of you who know me, know that I am not a fan of doctors, and I rarely visit them, unless absolutely necessary.
When I was finally called back into the hospital, after waiting in the lobby for 3 1/2 hours, the doctor on staff asked me what I did? I explained to him that I have what I like to call, “Over 40 Syndrome” and that I had no idea how I hurt myself. When you turn 40 it feels like your body starts to abandon you. Parts of yourself that functioned quite wonderfully before, decide to go on strike at various times when you are reaching for a toy that your child left in the middle of the living room, or when you turn in bed to grab a tissue off of your night stand. My point is, once you reach your 40’s things don’t always run as smoothly as they used to. I was given a steroid shot to decrease the inflammation and oral steroids as well as pain medication. I do not like to be on any type of pharmaceutical medicine so I was not a happy camper to say the least. I only took the pain meds at night before bed to help me sleep and weaned myself off of them quickly and then took the 6 days of oral steroids. I am moving now, but I am still in pain, and it is annoying. I am learning to deal with it, but of course I would rather be pain free, and I would rather be able to get back into my workout routine, that I was enjoying on a fairly consistent schedule, before I was struck down with my syndrome’s nasty side effects.
I write all of this to say, that today at church when people asked me, “How are you doing?” Do you know what I said? I said, “Good. How are you?” And do you know what everyone I talked to said? They said, “Great!” or “Good!’ Do you think that all of those people were doing well? I certainly don’t. I actually probed one friend of ours who told us initially that he was doing great. I asked him, “So everything is running smoothly at work and home?” He proceeded to tell me that life was crazy and that things were stressful. Now why didn’t he just say that in the first place? Then I started thinking about all of the times that I tell others that I am good, or great, when really I am struggling and hurting either physically or emotionally. I started to wonder, “What if we all just told people the truth? What if we didn’t lie? What if when I asked someone how they were doing, they actually explained what was going on and I could pray with them.?”
Here is the thing, we all struggle. We all have hard things that we are walking through, and yet we pretend that we don’t. And I understand that we don’t want to air our dirty laundry out to someone we are meeting for the first time at church, but what if we did? What if we were real with everyone about what we are struggling with and we could pray for and encourage one another, without fear of gossip, or fear of judgement? The people that I LOVE to hang around the most, are the ones who are REAL! They are the ones who share their failures, who tell me about their struggles, who don’t try to put on this mask of perfection. Don’t you love real people and real conversations about real life issues? I’m not talking about those conversations about some deal you got on jeans, or what new restaurant you tried and loved. I’m talking about conversations where you say, “Hey, how are you really? What are you struggling with? What’s God been showing you? How can I pray for you?” Those are my all time favorite kinds of conversations!
Those types of conversations only happen when we decide to stop putting on our own masks, and when we choose to share real things about ourselves. When we are authentic, it will breed authenticity in others. So let’s stop lying. We shouldn’t do that anyway as followers of Christ, because lying is a sin. Yet, every Sunday at church there are many people who are lying to one another and not showing their true selves. Let’s stop this and let’s be real with one another. Let’s ask people things like, “How are you really doing?” “What are you struggling with in your life?” or a really great question, “How can I pray for you?” Then stop right then, and pray with that person. Let’s stop the lies and start being real. I don’t think that real change will happen in ourselves or in others until we do.
Joy in the Mundane 
Ha! The over 40 syndrome – I can so relate. Enjoyed your post. I’ve been challenged with the same thing lately…really telling people how I am doing. Thanks for the reminder and challenge. I’ll pray you feel better soon. I also wanted to tell you about Classical Stretch by Miranda Esmonde-White. It has made a huge difference for Max and I. It’s gentle stretching that works your whole body. She has many seasons available on E-bay (better price than from her site) and she also is on TV. She’s written a couple books also. Hugs!
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Thank you fir praying Shanna! I am doing much better! I still have some pain in my hip and leg, but it is so much better than it was! Thank you also for the info on stretching. I will have to check Classical Stretch out!😊
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